Soaking It In

There's still warmth in the room while you wait for an answer.
 
 
Soaking It In is what it looks like when you've done everything you can and the answer isn't yours to decide.
 
I made this at Port Macquarie, on a road trip, early in the morning. The hotel I was staying in was quiet, on a quiet street, and the air was already warm and humid. I wandered out the back onto a jetty, and at the end of it an eastern water dragon was sunbathing. This is one of my earlier photographs. When I lie in the sun, I look like a blob. He looked regal. He held himself with a kind of poise, as though the jetty had been built for him. He saw me and didn't mind, but his posture made one thing clear: this was his space, and there was a distance I should keep.
 
I was nervous that morning. I had an interview ahead of me that could shape a lot of what came next, and no say in whether it went my way. All I could do was show up as well as I could. The dragon was doing the opposite of everything my nerves wanted. He wasn't preparing. He was warm, and still, and entirely there. He wasn't forcing anything, and I began to feel that I didn't have to force something that wasn't going to work, and that whatever happened, the sunshine would still be there afterwards. By the time I pressed the shutter, the reassurance had started to seep in.
 
Soaking It In is for the stretch between doing your part and finding out. It doesn't promise that things will turn out the way you hope. It reminds you that there is still warmth in the room while you wait, and that you're allowed to enjoy it. Slow down. Feel what's around you. The answer will arrive either way. Until then, this part is yours.